Tom H. C. Anderson - Next Gen Market Research™

By The Snarky Brothers (AKA Kevin Lonnie & Tom H. C. Anderson)

Ever get a little antsy after day 1 at a market research conference? If you attend a lot of conferences chances are you do, and that you’re not alone. Kevin Lonnie of KL Communications reached out to me and suggested a joint post entitled “Conference Tweets I Would Like to See“. I told Kevin, this isn’t too different than what I usually tweet at conferences, so why not.

Below are 24 of these tweets. We’d love to hear which if any you like, or better yet, please submit your own in the comment section below. We’ll buy whomever has the best suggested tweet a drink at the next research event.

Additionally, all the odd tweets are from one of us, and all the even tweets from the other, so if you’re looking for another challenge please feel free to guess which tweets belong to which Snarky Brother, DJ MROC or DOCTOR TEXT?!?

1. Are they recording this presentation? I could play it back the next time I have trouble sleeping. #insomnia
2. Oh, it’s Twitter data, why didn’t you say so, that’s why methodology doesn’t matter #GullibleMRXer
3. Oh wow, chicken for lunch. What were the odds? #rubberchicken
4. Did that focus group moderator actually just say “Big Data” #JustSlightlyOutOfBoundsExperienceWise
5. Why don’t we cut to the chase and play paint ball in the exhibit hall. Any client who gets shot has to endure a sales pitch. Clients receive sales immunity from vendors they shoot. #hungergames
6. Another F*ing Word Cloud, wow, how creative! #QualBigData
7. Oh my, another “evolve or die” theme. I wonder what underpaid summer intern came up with this one? #deathofcreativity
8. Just Wake me for Happy Hour #SmartAndExperiencedAttendee
9. If the guy next to me leans any closer, he’ll be behind me. #marxbrothers
10. Ohhh wow 10 Sample Providers in the Exhibit Hall each with biggest highest quality most unique panel #DejavuLOL
11. I always learn the shortcut to the conference area on the last day. #gpschallenged
12. “[Insert Quote]” - [Insert Big Brand Name] *REPEAT* #ShamelessToadyImpressedBybIGBrands
13. Would it kill folks to actually time their presentations? I say we cut their mikes when their time expires. If they insist on still talking, then we start to zap them! #swisspercision
14. We found xyz correlated with the price of cheese in Cambodia #I’mAstatisticianJustTrustMe
15. Of course, the only two speeches I want to see are at the exact same time. #cloning
16. Nother Client preso heavily edited by legal. Why don’t they just post their url and be done with it #Zzzzzz
17. What the hell did that presentation have to do with innovation? It should have been titled: “Innovative ways to shamelessly plug my company.” #shamelesssalespitch
18. Today we have replaced the coffee stations with beer kegs, enjoy! #wishfulthinking
19. CONFERENCE RHETORIC: Nine tracks of learning! REALITY: Nine revenue streams! #cynic
20. Innovative?!? My company was doing this 10 years ago #timetravel
21. Lifetime achievement award winners. Also known as, “OMG, I can’t believe he’s still alive!” #goingstraighttohell
22. I saw this same preso just last week at a conference in Chicago! #TooManyF*ngConferences
23. I say instead of evolving, we regress back to a simpler time and place. Let’s forget about big data & data scientists and bring back the old dart board! #MarketingNeanderthal
24. Hmmm, looks like I’m the only one on Twitter at this event *talking to myself* #AcademicConference

Thanks, hope you enjoyed and Tweet you soon!

@TomHCAnderson

@KLonnie

PS. If you enjoy research humor, check out last week’s ‘text analytics’ cartoon!

[Full Disclosure: Tom H. C. Anderson is Managing Partner of Anderson Analytics, developers of patented Next Generation Text Analytics™software platform OdinText. For more information and to inquire about software licensing visit ODINTEXT INFO REQUEST]